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31.10.04

I was on my way to a friend’s house located at Manggahan Pasig. I took a Project 2-3 jeep along Kamias and got down at anonas the end of its route. I crossed Aurora and rode one of those old school buses, the yellow ones that looked like… school buses (an old school bus that looked like a school bus. Ha ha). The ones that had a truck like front, and wooden interiors (rare instances you’d be concerned termites might hamper your commute)

I got down along the corner of Marcos ave. and Ligaya; where the 7-11 is the last business venture surviving there. Jeepneys going to Rosario and Pasig can be found there, I was only getting down on Mabini Street, so any jeep was fine. (Have you ever wondered how many streets are named Mabini, Bambang, and Rizal?) It just so happened one Pasig palengke jeep was still waiting for passengers in front of me. Got a look inside and it was almost full, but the guy who was sitting beside the last seat at the left side suddenly decided to move and sit down farther inside the right side of the jeep. I took the opportunity and dove in.

Seated inside, I scanned the people around me. SOP to ween out possible hold-up situations. It was cool. But while scooping out their faces I noticed a lot of them were covering their noses. And right in _______, the smell hit me. Amoy tae. So I was sniffing, figuring where it could possibly be coming from. Sa labas? A baby with a full tank diaper? Amoy tae ng tao ha. Not just any animal shit. And then it hit me, it was strong, and another SOP I had that I didn’t get to do was nagging at the back of my head: double check any vacant seat left on a crowded bus or jeep. Chances are, there’s a reason why it’s left unoccupied. Bubble gum at the seat, vomit from a drunk dude, wet because of the rain…

I didn’t get to scope the person to my right, the one seated at the last seat as that action was not too subtle. I then heard laughter, a nervous giggle coming form that direction, so I looked. Lo and behold, the person beside me was a big fat unkempt mama, smiling a toothless grin, and holding up her right hand, which was smeared full with human shit. The source of the foul smell everyone was covering his or her face at; and the reason why the dude originally seated beside her changed seats.

I followed suit.

Baliw yung babae. She was holding a small container with her other hand. It was the kind used by samalamig vendors. Pang-gulaman, buko juice or pineapple juice. Anyways, she brandished her hand smeared with shit frosting. I was at the far corner so I had the privilege of safe observation when the passengers near her evaded her to the best of their abilities considering the intimacy of the jeep. They were writhing away, men and women alike as she teasingly waved her hand close to them. Talk about invasion of personal space huh? The rest were pleading the driver to, uh, drive him away. And the driver was telling the rest of the passengers to shoo her out.

If you think about it, all of then could’ve gotten down. But nobody did. Aba, sayang ang pamasahe no.

Then for some reason, crazed mama decided to get off the jeep. Everybody had their own version of pleading to the driver to drive away. Humarurot naraw bago sumakay uli. So he did.

Everyone sighed a sigh of relief. The spot where crazed mama sat still remained vacant, avoided by everyone like the plague. Some of the passengers were spitting outside, some were on the verge of vomit as the memory of the smell is sometimes stronger than the actual whiff itself.

But that wasn’t the end of the story. Along the way, there was a traffic congestion and the passengers in my jeep saw crazed mama riding on another one! The poor passengers in the jeep numbered only a few, but crazy mama was still seated at the end brandishing her hand and her laughter audible to us. Word was spreading that she may get down while the jeeps were on a halt and again ride our jeep. The women were telling the men that if she ever did get back, they should punch and kick her out. Everyone would breath a sigh of relief when the jeep would move, and dread with anticipation when it stopped.

They would peek so obviously that I would never blame crazed mama coming back with the attention they were giving her. I mean, she’s only brandishing her hand covered in shit right?

Traffic loosened up after we passed by Santolan. Some passengers got down and the _______(communal) memory of crazed mama terrorizing us all desipitated. The rest of us that were still there could only break a smile when a teenage couple, dressed to kill for a gimmick got in and sat down where crazed mama sat. I was tempted to tell them “alam mo may nakaupo diyang babaeng baliw kanina, yung kanang kamay niya puno ng tae.” But I didn’t.

Mabini street passed by, I got down and walked to my friends house. I waited till we finished eating before telling the story of crazy mama.

Jordan

29.10.04

Road Existentialism

The MMDA (Metro Manila Development Authority) under Bayani Fernando, has implemented a traffic scheme where roads and intersections are blocked to avoid traffic build-up. U-turn slots are established in nodes near the intersections and these is where you go to get over the other side.

I think that if the MMDA existed along time ago, "Why did the chicken cross the road?" jokes would be inexistent.

And is Bayani Fernando denying these roads' and intersections' sense of existance in this world? What meaning are their lives if they exist not for their purpose?

Jordan
102904/11:53am

23.10.04

So that's why they call them old farts

Riding a cubao-pantranco jeep going home, I bore witness to one of our society’s unwritten laws:

Old people have the right to fart out loud in public places. They don’t need any excuses, nor feel guilty about it at all.

An old man in decent business clothes was sitting right across me. All of a sudden, he lifts his right butt cheek a bit and nonchalantly releases a fart so loud and full I hear it above the Jeepney’s engine roar. It was a sound so vivid, a man with a wild imagination would puke on the spot hearing it.

After that, he carefully laid his right butt cheek back on the seat and continued on with a straight face through the remainder of the ride.

I got down my stop at Aurora, catched my best friend bus, the red one, and I still found something wrong with the incident.

It only dawned to me what it was while aboard a Megamall-Pasig FX.

Inangat niya yung kanang pisngi ng puwet niya para hindi makulong yung utot niya.

Jordan 102304/1030pm

22.10.04

The Tattoed Etiquette

While on a Pasig-Bicutan Jeep passing by Pateros with my girlfriend It was one of those exhaust fumes moments in the jeep when the dude beside me, whose tattoos were oozing out of his sleeves and shorts and was also scruffy as hell, suddenly took out a hanky and covered his nose to ward off the pollution. While I, a guy in a decent polo, with love handles bulging at the sides, just accepted the pollutions presence and didn't breath.

Jordan
102304/12:11am

Luho

Flaunting one's economic status changes in time. Luxuries are actually necessities first afforded and experienced by the privileged (and the not-so-privileged who save money, I should add.)

It was once considered luxurious to own a pager.
Back then, you'd be throwing away money if you bought bottled mineral water.
Eating at fast foods were once considered special day occasions.

For me, calling on your cellphone for a long time is a luxury today.

I'll just be waiting for the time when that is not the case, and I'll sound like an old foggy reminiscing about it.

Jordan
EDSA Central Internet Cafe
102304/12:01am

13.10.04

Love in the time of commuting

In some movies, a character's job is just mentioned. He or she has all the free time in the movie's duration for character development. Sometimes they overdo it. I mean, how many times can they spend together in the park, meeting up at fancy cafes while wearing all those fancy-schamcy clothes if they ain't working? They're supposed to work to earn a living right?

I'll try my best not to let this blog be just about my life.


Because if this blog was just about my life, I'd only be talking about Tiff files, Jpeg quality optimizing, Postcript distilling and what was my lunch at the carinderiera. I do have a job you know.

Now, travelling. Travelling is what I do a lot aside from work. Now, that is reasonable character development, don't you think?

Jordan
101204/4:30pm

7.10.04

Che!

Jo saw a dude in Rockwell wearing a Che pin, along with one designed with the American flag. What would Che say if he saw it? Was the dude aware of what he was wearing?

He was a perfect case to discuss where the line between contradictons, and irony should be drawn in this information flooded times we have now.
--
A mini shoveling tractor was leasurely chugging along J.P. Rizal last night. with the speed it was going along a public road, it attracted attention as it gave off an unintentional arrogance of an aristocrat, who could afford doing things in a slow pace when everybody else had to go around fast in their chores.

I say unintentional as a mini tractor, one that spends its whole existence in close intimacy with dirt, is one that’s least associated with aristocracy.

The bomb was that the driver of the said tractor, was texting while driving! Everybody was hooting and giving him amused looks. A van sped pass by and jeeredloudly at him. His head was bent down, texting away, oblivious to everyone, even to his driving.

100704/1032am

1.10.04

After a boys night out killing each other

After an all night round of counterstrike with the boys to celebrate Boom’s birthday in Katipunan, Benjo and I decided to walk it to Aurora blvd. Two kinds of races overtook us along the way: A white, mod car shrieking its way to White Plains, taking advantage of the wide, deserted, unofficial race track of the rich; and a marathon man riding with the wind as he effortlessly jogged passed by us at the side streets. The sun was taking its time to rise,and I slept almost throughout the commute homeriding the jeeps.

Jordan